Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
I saw that.

The way the words
stuck in the back of your throat like glue.
The way you held your tongue
for fear of ridicule if you spoke up for yourself.
The way the syllables gushed from their mouths,
a torrent of excuses,
when they did you wrong
because you didn't make your own case
and you should have been more forceful.

I saw that.

And I've been there, I've lived it.
I know it's hard to let their criticism
roll off your back when
they've already knocked you
flat on your face.

But I saw that.

And I won't let you fight it alone.
We could solve so many problems if we just stuck up for each other a little more.

As always, comments, discussion, and critiques are welcome!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconura-chi:
Ura-chi Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Words cannot even begin to explain how much I understand this... I know that feel :P

Coincidentally, I have a character who fits this description perfectly from both points of view (if that's possible). Well done, my good man :)
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much! it's always a pleasure to know someone can relate to my work :heart:
Reply
:iconkatzefisch:
KatzeFisch Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
you probably get a lot of comments like this, but wow... i read this, and i just... this is one of those poems i instantly fell in love with <3 this is how i am. I could be with my best friends and be so afraid to even start a conversation for fear of annoying, bothering, or chasing them away. people say mean things to me and it sticks with me, i go weeks just repeating it in my head and believing it no matter how much i try and tell myself that it shouldn't bother me and i should just forget about it. i got so used to hiding what i say (from a lot of past experiences) and admitting that no matter what i do is wrong that now i just cant stand up for myself nor feel like i /should/ stand up for myself. my boyfriend and i are happy, but the one thing we seem to bicker about it ill get so upset and he always just asks "Why do you care what they say? they aren't important to you" or "why don't you tell them off or something?" and things along those lines. i try to, but the words don't form and if i force it i start stuttering and make a fool out of myself and get laughed at then i'll spend the next months making fun of /myself/ until i just feel horrid and i feel like i'm the most stupid person on earth.. i dunno, i guess this poem just reminded me of all those feelings and how much more i will go through it
Sorry for the ramble, i just want to say this poem is absolutely amazing. any poem that can stir up memories and emotions is wonderfully written, be it happy sad painful or cheery. thank you for sharing this poem <3
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for such a heart-felt comment :heart:
I understand the feeling, and I think the most important thing is to remember that there is someone somewhere who genuinely cares about you - be it your boyfriend or your family or whatever - and the good and kind things they say can be your life-line. When the voices of those who ridicule you get stuck in your head, drown them out with your own voice, remind yourself of all the wonderful things about you. Even if you can't help but dwell on the bad things that people say, remembering to take extra time to dwell on the good things said about you can do wonders for your confidence. There's nothing wrong with building yourself up, in fact, you deserve it. And if there's ever a time that all you can hear is the cruel words of others racing in your mind, remember this: You dropped me a comment and were so sweet and open and honest and willing to share something very personal about yourself, and that tells me that you have more courage than you may realize. Remember that you are strong and beautiful in your own way and no one can change that. :tighthug:
Reply
:iconprinceofqueer:
PrinceOfQueer Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I left the front page to look at my messages, but I saw 'I saw that' and it pulled me right back to this page again. Just HAD to read it with a title like that! Eerily felt like I was being spyed on though...
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, thank you!
Reply
:iconpulpmyfiction:
PulpMyFiction Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wonderful.
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconnitavg:
NitaVG Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Meaningful and true. 
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :love:
Reply
:iconnitavg:
NitaVG Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome
And thank you for the llama badge! ^^
Reply
:iconthepeaceful103:
ThePeaceful103 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you.
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you
Reply
:iconpenniepapaya:
penniepapaya Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist
I always try to stick up for those kinds of people 

It's really sad sometimes how people have no friends Llama Emoji-08 (Crying) [V1] 
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad, the world needs a little more compassion :heart:
Reply
:iconamigafur:
Amigafur Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I don't have many friends, (only two) but I'm not really that social so I wouldn't really mind if I didn't have any friends.
But then there are those people who have no friends and want them. If you're reading this right now and you have no friends, I'll be your friend. :)
Just don't forget to be friendly and all will be well in the world.
Reply
:iconamigafur:
Amigafur Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That was a really good, really cool poem! The only typo/error that I noticed was in "I know its hard to let their criticism," it should be "it's," not "its." (You don't want it to show possession; it's a contraction, so an apostrophe is in order.) Thanks for sharing that with us! :3
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my! You're quite right, thank you for pointing out the slip :heart:
Reply
:iconbladeneo123:
BladeNeo123 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014
SO TRUE!!!!!
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconskylarkthecat:
SkylarkTheCat Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Student General Artist
Yesss so true!! I have a lot of friends who are scared to stand up for themselves and I try to but they tell me not to, so I never get the chance to.

I've always been one to stand up for what I think is right and what I want to be done. I wish that everyone was like this. I've been crushed down and I've been broken, but I hold onto that because they form who I am and make me stronger. If only people didn't try to forget the past, to live for the moment... because I've learned that that never works out and I am shown that time and time again.

Great poetry!! It conveys a strong message very clearly and simply, and definitely gets you thinking. Great job!
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :heart:
I'm glad you are so strong in your beliefs, it truly is a priceless quality.
Reply
:iconskylarkthecat:
SkylarkTheCat Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Student General Artist
Your welcome, thank you(:
Reply
:iconsyrinq:
Syrinq Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014
This has a really deep meaning.
Lovely piece.
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much :heart:
Reply
:iconsyrinq:
Syrinq Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014
No problem c:
Reply
:icon914four:
914four Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life" - Winston Churchill
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
One of my favorite quotes :heart: and something that we all need to remember. 
Reply
:icon914four:
914four Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Absolutely :-)
Another good quote, unrelated yet somehow so appropriate to the discourse, is:
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein
Something to think about for those who might be the oppressor  :-)
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
very true, you are full of wisdom my friend
Reply
:icon914four:
914four Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Perhaps, for I collect quotes you see; but I suspect it is rather that I am simply incapable of original thought :-)
"I do not speak the minds of others except to speak my own mind better." - Michel de Montaigne
Reply
:iconruntofthelitter:
RuntOfTheLitter Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014
''We could solve so many problems if we just stuck up for each other a little more.''



AMEN to that! ....

ROTL
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Well done!

The way you held you tongue ( your tongue? )
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
ahh! thank you so much, I had practically memorized this poem by the time I went to spell check so I'm not even sure I was actually reading it =P Thanks for the comment, and picking up on the mistake :heart: 
Reply
:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Haha! Awesome!
Reply
:iconauthorkatieolson:
AuthorKatieOlson Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Student Writer
You tied in personal experience with encouragement quite well. And your metaphors and similes weren't cliche at all, in fact, they brought the words together and made it stronger. 
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! I'm so glad it didn't sound cliche, I was a little wary of using the more common phrases but I just felt like they fit.
Reply
:iconauthorkatieolson:
AuthorKatieOlson Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Student Writer
I know what you mean. My problem however, is that I use words repetively without even thinking about it. Nuu I need to start catching myself before I post so I can stretch out my vocabulary. 
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yes! Sometimes I think I forget that I know a lot of words, and a lot of ways to say things, but I get stuck in my typical descriptions. Going back and reading my old work is always fun because I can see how the words I choose kind of go in and out of style.
Reply
:iconskuldgirl:
Skuldgirl Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It's a good insight and so true.
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you, darling :heart:
Reply
:iconevilscarrlett:
EvilScarrlett Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
a wonderful statement!
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :heart: It felt really good to post something positive
Reply
:iconevilscarrlett:
EvilScarrlett Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome. I can't seem to post anything at all... haha
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:cry: writers block hit you?
Reply
:iconevilscarrlett:
EvilScarrlett Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
somewhat. I'm not really trying but I have ideas at all the wrong times.
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Ugh I know what you mean, I keep getting flashes of inspiration at work and there are screaming kids everywhere and no pens in sight and I just feel like it's such a waste because I forget before the thought develops. 
Reply
:iconevilscarrlett:
EvilScarrlett Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I know. it is such a waste. maybe I can get something done on the weekend if work isn't too busy.
Reply
:icondaybreaksmiles:
daybreaksmiles Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I wish you luck! 
Reply
(1 Reply)
Add a Comment:
 
×

:icondaybreaksmiles: More from daybreaksmiles


Featured in Collections

Poetry by HollyRoseFowlCasson


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
June 11, 2014
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,960
Favourites
192 (who?)
Comments
60
×