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About Literature / Hobbyist daybreaksmilesFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Going Rogue: Gone Rogue Original Pages
Purchase the original, hand edited, found poems from the pages of Sarah Palin's Going Rogue 

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Too often it was
impossible to see the
horizon; the way
forever curled, sleeping, in
the lines of our palms.
.
where can we go from here?
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We split it all up
silverware, furniture, life
right down the middle.
.
too sharp to be a break
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six sets of silken
skirts settling, slip'ry, on
silver-satin sand

Your absence stirs grey
pine needles; in the city
it begins to rain.
.
it's been so long
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adventures past nudge
memories gently; when did
we run out of firsts?
.
give them back, please
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Though I'm not completely satisfied with the last poem I put up for workshop, and it will doubtlessly be tweaked and reworked thousands of times before I am, time and necessity have urged me to move on and look at other pieces to renovate. This second poem that I'd like to workshop falls under the category of malediction - that is, I'm trying to curse someone and along the way make my readers feel something that really rings true to human experience. With your permission I would like to use you as my guinea pig and litmus test for judging how well this piece does what I want it to do. I don't usually focus on craft like this, I tend to let my poems lead me where they want to go and place them in a genre later, but a good friend of mine suggested writing with an end in sight so here I am. Without further ado:

Workshop 2

Pansies

You cracked the planter by my mailbox when you left.
The impact of tires sent topsoil sailing,
only to land in an undignified heap on the blacktop
as you pulled away, I doubt you even noticed. Or thought


of my reaction when I woke hours later
to find my driveway a graveyard for pansies
and the battered carcass of their housing
strewn across the lawn where it was felled. I'm not angry.

It was just a plastic bucket after all, the kind you buy
a dime a dozen at the hardware store.
This afternoon I'll drive to town and spend an inevitable
three hours hunting for a suitable replacement

to a planter whose shape and style was retired five years ago.
Then I'll trundle back home in rush hour traffic and begin my task
of packing dirt and flower bulbs - maybe tulips this time -
into the too-big too-square too-new flower box.

If I scare a few of the neighborhood kids it's only because
they've never seen such passionate gardening before.
And tomorrow when I pick up the mail,
there will be nothing left to remind me of you.



*my biggest issue is with the ending - the last two lines really. I'm not sure it's strong enough or at a good place or really hitting the poem home.

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daybreaksmiles

Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Currently working on: found poems - will upload soon!
Currently raising points for: premium membership

tumblr: blackcoffeelies.tumblr.com/

If you're interested in my fanfiction, you can find it here: blackcoffeelies.livejournal.co…

Also, some awesome references for poets:
personal.strath.ac.uk/t.furnis…
www.expansivepoetryonline.com/…
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:iconevilscarrlett:
EvilScarrlett Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
happy birthday! :D
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:iconemsoileau:
emsoileau Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Dunno if you come about much but happy birthday!
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:icongxfan537:
gxfan537 Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2016
Happy Birthday! *hugs you* gxfan537.deviantart.com/galler…
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:iconei9:
ei9 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2016
Early Birthday wishes to you my dear and may it be just as fabulous and sweet as you!
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:iconvioletveronika:
VioletVeronika Featured By Owner May 27, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Hi there! :wave:
Welcome in  :iconmacropoetry:  a group which gathers both, photographers capturing the 'macro-world' and poetry writers of various kinds.
We are much happy to have You on board! :nod:
Here are some things for You to get started in the Group:
:thumb479116718:
We hope You'll enjoy being here, maybe even find inspiration in the works of Our members :)

It's a perfect place for Your works to have more exposure and receive feedback from other artists!
We can't wait to see Your works! :la:

Best Regards from the MacroPoetry staff! :hug:
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